2nd Breakfast

This is an observation.  It will not include a recipe. I know.  Surprise!

A recent phenomenon has been observed in my house as of late.  2nd Breakfast.  Have you heard of it?  Experienced it?

At approximately 7:57 am each morning as I am walking out the door, the boys say (and sometimes whine): “Mom, I’m hungry!”

Me: In my head: F@#K!  You just ate breakfast!  We’re walking out the door!  Do you have a tapeworm?

Me: To My Children: Well, we’re walking out the door and you just finished breakfast.

Children: But I am hungry. Can I have a snack?

Me: You’ll have to eat it in the car.  What would you like?

Luckily, they don’t ask for anything complicated, but it is the principle of it all.  We are literally walking out the door, they have just eaten breakfast and they are asking for food!!!

I have also experienced the whiny voices in chorus declare that they are hungry at about 7pm.  “Mom, can I have a snack?”  We just finished dinner and apparently they need even more food?  Are you kidding me?  The best one yet is Andrew will often and the end of dinner ask if he can have a snack before he has even left the table.

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Dear Mom & Dad… My public apology.

Dear Mom & Dad,

I owe you a big apology. HUGE.
Now that I have kids of my own, more specifically a teenage daughter of my own, I have a full understanding of what a real asshole I was as a kid/teenager. Excuse my language, but there really is not a better word to describe myself as a tween/teen.
I apologize for the eye rolling. I think it got to the point where my eyes would automatically start to roll if I even saw you start to speak to me. I realize now I didn’t look as cool as I thought I did. I’m surprised my eyes didn’t get stuck looking at the back of my head.
I apologize for spending too much money on your credit card. While I was busy rolling my eyes, I should have been listening to you explain to me the concept of money. I can now honestly admit that I did not grasp the concept that you would be getting a bill at the end of every month for all of my random & pointless spending.
I apologize for the lies. Wow, the lies. I lied about everything. Everything from saying my room was clean when it wasn’t, to where I was going on a Friday night, to sneaking out of the house, to “borrowing” your car, to forging your signature on anything and everything that I could. I guess at the time I really thought I was smarter than you. Ha!
I apologize for the beer cans in my closet. I think this was another one of those situations where I thought I was smarter than you. But seriously, what idiot keeps beer cans in their closet for several months to “hide” them? How did I ever think I would get away with that? Why on earth did I not just throw them away? Dumb. Pretty gross too.
I apologize for my emotions. I was an out of control basket case most of the time, blaming you for everything. I know now it wasn’t your fault my boyfriend broke up with me, or that I was having a bad hair day. I could blame it on the hormones, but I’ll take the credit for being so completely and utterly ridiculous.
In all seriousness, I apologize for the years of misery I may have caused. I get why you sent me to boarding school. I looked at you back then like you were the biggest morons on the planet, now you are my idols. I haven’t even begun to apologize for all of the things I need to, just know that I am sorry. You gave me a picture perfect childhood that anyone should feel lucky to have had.
I try to remain calm as my teenage daughter rolls her eyes at me, and blames me for all of the “problems” in her life. I try not to judge when she comes down the stairs in an outfit that makes me not want to admit she is mine. I know that through it all she will survive, and so will I…hopefully. She will realize that I am not an idiot, and that I really might have a clue what I am talking about when I lecture her. Ahhh… Karma.

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